Today was my last day at work. I was wide awake by 3:30 am, and couldn’t go back to sleep. Too much nerves, too much excitement. After tossing and turning for several minutes, gave up and went downstairs to start on my to-do list for my last work day – finish last few project invoices, prepare a current status summary of projects for boss, etc., you get the picture. N came downstairs a few minutes after me and (God bless him) made some super duper masala chai for the two of us.
With such an early start, I was done with everything that needed doing by mid-morning. Wandered around saying goodbyes for the rest of the morning, and started for home around 1:30 pm armed with balloons, cupcakes, and flowers from my lovely (now former) colleagues. (Conveniently) remembered enroute that I hadn’t eaten yet, and stopped at our local HSB for a quick (and super yum, if solo) lunch.
I realized today that I am very excited about this change (did a few jigs around our kitchen this morning, much to N’s amusement). I have made several friends at work, but I don’t particularly feel like I am leaving them behind. I am still friends with several people that I worked with 15 years ago, so I know that I will continue to nurture my close relationships (you knew that too, didn’t you?). I feel more excited for what’s coming than sad about what I am leaving behind.
One thing tugs at me, though, with this change.
The last time I switched jobs in April 2010, Appa came over from V’s place to help us with the kids during my transition. Because of that, and perhaps since we lost Appa within a year of that transition, I have deeply felt Appa’s contribution to my professional success at this company. I feel pangs thinking that I am changing something that Appa contributed so much to. Like I am moving on to something that Appa won’t ever know about. I tell myself that there will be many more such things in my life that I won’t be able to discuss with Appa. And ask myself to trust that wherever he is, he is watching over me, and he knows. But it’s hard to buy into that concept entirely. You know what I mean. So, I just let them sit, those little pangs in me. Nothing wrong with a little discomfort.
I start at my new work place at the end of September, so I have a few weeks of sheer idleness stretching ahead of me. If I would let that happen, that is. The last time I switched jobs, I had two weeks at home in March of 2010 before I started work. I could have been a lady of leisure for those two weeks. But noooo. Don’t exactly recall how I squandered those two weeks. But distinctly remember doing at least a couple of dry run drives at peak time to my soon-to-be work place to exactly nail down my commute time (ada che!). Now that I have become a Zen Master (ahem!), this is SO NOT how I intend to spend my time this time around. I will reach my future work place when I reach it. No dry run drive bulls^&t this time.
So what do I plan to do with this time, you ask? You ready?
A bunch of insurance related paperwork (ugh, but needs to be done, no?), bike rides on weekday mornings with a friend after little A gets on her bus, lunches and walks with other friends, meet up with N near his work for lunch a couple of times, get car serviced (more che work!), write lots of blog posts (let’s see if this one pans out) – the possibilities are endless!
So, here I am on Day 0, with another 20 stretching luxuriously ahead of me. Super excited! 🙂