Today was test day. It was not a total flop, but neither was it a slam dunk. Of course, these are not the only two options, but you know what I mean. As these sorts of tests usually go (at least for me), ever since I left the test hall at 11:30 am, I have been obsessing off and on throughout the day about questions that I am pretty sure I answered incorrectly, while I have no recall of the ones that I answered quickly and accurately. Well-intentioned emails from colleagues saying things like “I am sure you did great!” and “What a relief that it’s now behind you” have been anything but reassuring. As you can tell, the monkey mind has been quite restless today and just won’t settle down. Got out of the exam hall tired and hungry, and had no stamina for Barnes & Noble or any sort of reading, not even anything on my long list of must reads (so much for planning ahead on what to do with my special afternoon!!). Took Amma out for lunch instead, and loaded up on comfort food at our local Saravana Bhavan. Have to say — Plan B worked out pretttty good!
Patience has never been my strong suite. Imagine my state upon hearing that the results will be announced, oh, in about six weeks or so. My first reaction was “Aarrrgh! I really cannot go on for six weeks in suspense like this!” But, on the positive side (and there is always a positive side), what better chance for me to pull it together and act like the Zen Master I intend (and pretend) to be? Plus, vera vazhi enna?
So, that’s it, officially starting zenning right now! 🙂