A Pause

The pauses between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides. ~ Artur Schabel

I started writing on November 17, 2011, a couple of months before I started my blog.  A year to the date of when I first found out about Appa’s illness.  That anniversary was a tough one for me to process – with dark thoughts, words, difficult memories, and tears crowding around my head so much that it was hard to breathe at times.  The writing helped.  A LOT.  It got me out of the fog and into a place of acceptance.

I wrote almost a year ago that I was searching for something (“My car keys?” I flippantly asked then).  And admitted that I didn’t know what.  I never did find out what.  But I realize that somewhere along the way, I stopped the searching and just started being.  These days, I sense an inner tranquility (for the most part) that I never had before.  And in its own intangible way, my writing has helped me get here.  For that, I am truly grateful.

More recently, I have written a lot about happy hum “Happenings” in my life.  While it has been fun, I don’t want my blog to just be a brag book or a chronicle of my family’s day-to-day buzzing.  Why not?  Why so serious?  I wonder.  But that’s just how it is.  And who I am.  At this moment, I feel a pause in my writing.  I haven’t yet figured out what that means – perhaps that I will write less this year.  Or write about different, less personal stuff (Hmmmm…. science fiction coming up?).

For now, I am just observing and enjoying this pause.

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