The pauses between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides. ~ Artur Schabel
I started writing on November 17, 2011, a couple of months before I started my blog. A year to the date of when I first found out about Appa’s illness. That anniversary was a tough one for me to process – with dark thoughts, words, difficult memories, and tears crowding around my head so much that it was hard to breathe at times. The writing helped. A LOT. It got me out of the fog and into a place of acceptance.
I wrote almost a year ago that I was searching for something (“My car keys?” I flippantly asked then). And admitted that I didn’t know what. I never did find out what. But I realize that somewhere along the way, I stopped the searching and just started being. These days, I sense an inner tranquility (for the most part) that I never had before. And in its own intangible way, my writing has helped me get here. For that, I am truly grateful.
More recently, I have written a lot about happy hum “Happenings” in my life. While it has been fun, I don’t want my blog to just be a brag book or a chronicle of my family’s day-to-day buzzing. Why not? Why so serious? I wonder. But that’s just how it is. And who I am. At this moment, I feel a pause in my writing. I haven’t yet figured out what that means – perhaps that I will write less this year. Or write about different, less personal stuff (Hmmmm…. science fiction coming up?).
For now, I am just observing and enjoying this pause.