“Andha pillai nalam kollavum, ennai paarthu enai vellavum, kannil vaithu nenjil vaithu naan valarthen…”
Dec 13, 2001 (you knew I was good with dates). I woke up that day at 4 am (like today) and decided that I would do the P-test. Again. I knew that it was still way too early to test, and the obsessive in me had already tested a couple of times that week. Did the test anyways, and five minutes later, there it was. That faint blue line. I woke N up and showed it to him. “Isn’t that blue too light?” he asked. I was triumphant. “No, blue is blue. The bun is in the oven.” (My exact words. Think I was watching too much Seinfeld and Friends those days.) I drove the one hour drive to work in what felt like 10 minutes, with my head full of baby thoughts.
Neha arrived at 7:32 am on sunday, August 25, 2002. Paul Reiser says it best for me in “Babyhood”: “The baby drew a very clear line down the middle of our lives. On one side was everything we had ever been through, and on the other, this moment on.”
June 9, 2005. I was a (sort of) experienced mom of a precocious almost 3 year old. Sitting at lunch at an outdoor cafe with my colleagues, I suddenly just KNEW that I was expecting again (not “experienced mom” for nothing!). No obsessive P-testing this time. Anika arrived (two weeks before the due date) on friday, February 3, 2006 at 11:59 am (the nurses in the delivery room were having a wager as to whether she would be born in the morning or in the afternoon, and there was a lot of hooting and cheering when she did arrive that morning).
Hmmm… two weekend babies. Maybe that’s why there’s so much “chillaxing” going on around here.
I find lots of changes in me since becoming a mom (perhaps because I finally had to grow up). The worrying part of me amplifies a 1000 times, especially when one of them is sick. Or out on a field trip with their class minus a hovering me. I cried a bucket (in front of friends, yikes!!) when 9 month old Neha rolled out of bed at A & P’s house, and I was not nearby. Luckily, I don’t do that anymore (If one of them now rolls out of bed, I check to see if anything lying on the floor beneath got broken or crushed.). I try to be more socially conscious, if only to be a good role model for the girls. I am not shy about singing in public like I used to be, because I want my girls to know how to enjoy their talents. You know the “Tiger Mom and back” story, so I won’t tell you again.
A decade of motherhood. It’s been an incredible journey. Happy Mother’s Day!